When Seeking God's Will Becomes About Us
What it really means to say, “Lord, here am I.”
I find myself currently searching for clarity. Like many of us, I long to live a life that honors God, to serve, to speak, and to share what He’s done in my life. As I was thinking about it, I realized that even our purest desires can carry traces of self.
I wanted to do things for God, but was it truly for Him? Or was I hoping that others might see my devotion and be moved by it? Was it about making His name known or about making mine heard?
I realized that I still tend to rely on my own strength and often try to do the right things instead of simply being surrendered.
Lately, I’ve experienced a kind of restlessness in me. It is not that I'm unhappy in my work, but something in me wants a change. Like a different space or a new path. But when I was honest with myself about the why, the answer wasn’t what I expected and so spiritual after all.
I realized I wasn’t asking for a change because I felt God wanted to lead me on a new path. I was asking because I wanted out. That desire for something new, though sincere, wasn’t necessarily from God. It was, in many ways, just me.
And if I’m honest, it felt selfish to want more when God had already given me a place to serve, to grow, and to reflect His light. Maybe the problem wasn’t where I was, but how I was seeing it.
So, it is not a matter of praying, “Lord, here am I, send me somewhere else,” but just “Lord, here am I.”
God has placed us exactly where He needs us to be right now until He opens another door.
The book I’m currently reading says something powerful: that knowing God’s will doesn’t start with seeking direction; it starts with seeking Him. “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you.” That verse hit me differently this week.
God isn’t hiding His will from us like a mystery to solve. His will unfolds when we focus on Him more than the outcome.
So, if you're searching for clarity about your future, your job, or your purpose, maybe the first step isn’t to do something big or change your life. Maybe it’s simply to say:
“Lord, here am I.”